the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize