I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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