oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
