I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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