piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
