Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
