i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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