I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He better not be in your backpack
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
