You can't motorboat a personality
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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