Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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