i permit you to call me
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
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