i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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