he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize