you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
