Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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