I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
