Im at strip club and am horny
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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