im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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