This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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