so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
where are you?
Hypothermia
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
