Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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