My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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