I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
