Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
