I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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