I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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