oh god the rape fog is back!
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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