You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
