omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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