My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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