Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
