ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
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