I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
