wanna go halves on a baby?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
farters have to be the big spoon...
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
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I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
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I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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