thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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