Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
