marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
