he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
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An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
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I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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