you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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