Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
cat food counts as protein by the way
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
