Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
