I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
