I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
