I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
