We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
