i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
