Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.