I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
