i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
