Texts From Last Night

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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes

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  (540): I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes http://tfl.nu/2t0p
  Replies (15) Good night (754) Bad night (1097)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes

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  (614): If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes http://tfl.nu/ijgu
  Replies (8) Good night (978) Bad night (3256)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I love sluts.

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I end my prayers with that every single night.

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  (913): I love sluts. (402): I end my prayers with that every single night. http://tfl.nu/8il0
  Replies (8) Good night (3844) Bad night (731)
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  (760): View more from California

  oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year

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  (760): oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year http://tfl.nu/nw70
  Replies (11) Good night (4476) Bad night (624)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.

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  (231): I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends. http://tfl.nu/26nn
  Replies (15) Good night (1924) Bad night (4038)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"

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  (586): i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?" http://tfl.nu/o8h0
  Replies (9) Good night (5179) Bad night (761)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.

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  (609): i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying. http://tfl.nu/89ja
  Replies (10) Good night (3188) Bad night (816)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."

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  (864): You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor." http://tfl.nu/jk5x
  Replies (9) Good night (3303) Bad night (730)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?

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  (231): Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night? http://tfl.nu/zmtw
  Replies (2) Good night (1241) Bad night (916)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.

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  (561): I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics. http://tfl.nu/2iwb
  Replies (4) Good night (571) Bad night (362)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.

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  (708): You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice. http://tfl.nu/p63x
  Replies (2) Good night (641) Bad night (343)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.

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  (978): I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors. http://tfl.nu/8d4k
  Replies (1) Good night (460) Bad night (283)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.

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  (401): There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying. http://tfl.nu/eu3f
  Replies (6) Good night (1011) Bad night (300)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch

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  (425): The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch http://tfl.nu/197l
  Replies (7) Good night (502) Bad night (270)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.

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  (920): Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning. http://tfl.nu/b6qm
  Replies (1) Good night (389) Bad night (172)

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