We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
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I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
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I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy