We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize