There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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