In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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