Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
