hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
