Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

is drinking for groundhog day legit?

(1-484): View more from Pennsylvania

well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes

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(714): View more from California

He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

At least he's a nutritious stoner...

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(440): View more from Ohio

As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
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(661): View more from California

i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean

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(425): View more from Washington

Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?

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(303): View more from Colorado

Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.

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(360): View more from Washington

I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?

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