Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
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