Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.