After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.