I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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