she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
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I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
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A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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