Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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