I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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