Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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