She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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