just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize