now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
