1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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