Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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