i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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