so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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